This week has been harder than most. My downs kind of lumped together into a week of falling short on patience, giving love, and feeling motivated. You know those weeks when you just can’t seem to get out of your own head. Yeah. I had one of those weeks. I felt down on my self for the stupidest things and let myself go down the road where at the end, I am left feeling jealous, left out, and inadequate in terms of blogging, parenting and well, life. It is embarrassing to admit. I hate feeling like I am working so hard to keep up yet, it seems like everyone else gets things handed to them so easily. Then on Wednesday Rowan got really sick. We think she caught coxsackievirus from someone at church last sunday. She had a very high fever for about 2 days and we sat on the couch and didn’t move almost the whole time. Poor baby, she was so out of it. Her fever is gone but she is still not herself yet. Very clingy and very irritable. I hate to say this, but it is what I needed to kick myself in the butt. To realize the things I was struggling with were not the truth. That this baby right in front of me is what really matters. That the husband that works hard for us and comes home with a smile to greet us is what matters. How trivial the things that were consuming my mind were. It’s funny how easy we can loose perspective on things. Our vision gets cloudy and you feel totally consumed with negativity.
I feel silly writing this now. I was feeling this during the week and then when Rowan got sick I was able to get out of my funk. My family also came to visit which was awesome. Plus the most amazing thing happened this week!! Rowan started saying “mama”!!! I was a crying mess when she just one day started saying it to me over and over. When we were out grocery shopping later that evening, every time she would see me in the aisle she would yell “MAMA” Umm so freakin’ awesome. So, in the end, even though it was a rough week I am now choosing to focus on the good. I will remember the things I am thankful for. I will kiss Kev and Rowan and know that they are my world and that is what matters and I will know without a shadow of a doubt that my worth does not come from the world around me but from above.
Here’s to a happy new week!
great post jen. it’s refreshing to read what really happens in life rather than only sharing the glossy parts as some other blogs can be.
i’m not a parent so i can’t offer any advice but i think that whatever you need to do to get through the day with a happy and healthy rowan is how you should parent. as you said, she’s what’s most important in life, so don’t get down on yourself about whether you’re doing it right or not.
the grass always seems to be greener on the other side but if you spend some time watering your own grass it can be just as green too. 🙂
I hope this coming week goes better for you! xo, rv
VITUAL HUGS! <3
We all get down, but it is great that you have found that perspective again. Hope your baby girl feels better soon. x
Sorry you had a rough week and I hope your little one feels better soon. I just wanted ti say Thank you for saying “my worth does not come from the world around me but from above.” It definitely struck a chord with me and I need to remember that myself.
Thank you for sharing such an honest post. I think we are often too hard on ourselves. I’m sure that you are a wonderful mother and wife and that Rowan & Kev appreciate you just as much as you do them. Sending happy thoughts your way! 🙂
I love your honesty. The fact that you care so much shows how great of a person and mom you are 🙂 You have a beautiful family!
hi jen! i had a week like that, too.
i think your last sentence really defines where you have to pull from to get out of those funks. thankful for a God who doesn’t see our human failures when He looks at us. thankful He loves us unconditionally and finds us perfect and worthy.
hope you have a great week and your baby starts to feel herself again soon.
Wow. I feel like the universe or whatever you believe in is trying to tell me something today. Yours is the third blog that I have read today, and this is now the third time that I’ve been reminded in the most beautiful way that there is no sense in feeling jealousy when everything I really want (the REAL stuff, the important stuff) is already all around me. I needed a reminder to be more appreciative of what I have. Anything else I want will only come from busting ass – nothing will come from my moping.
Anyways – I never ever comment on blogs, but today I just wanted to say thankyou. I love your blog – you have a way of being always showing yourself as fresh and fashionable and vibrant without ever seeming petty or vain. It’s evident that you have some real depth. I admire that.
I hope you find sunshine everywhere next week. And congratulations on the ‘mama’. Such a wonderful feeling!
So sorry to hear about your week. I’m happy to hear Rowan is on the mend 🙂 Hope you have a great week 🙂
I think it’s really easy to have weeks like that when you are a stay at home mom. Thanks for your post, it made me feel like I am not the only one that gets stuck in my head! Being at home is filled with so much joy, but it is hard though. I have a 9 month old boy and I stay at home. When I was pregnant, a friend told me that God would use this baby to transform and mature me, and it’s so true.
I’ve been by your blog a number of times but this is the first time I’ve commented (I think). Thanks for sharing and for your honesty. Parenting and motherhood can be completely overwhelming. You put it so beautifully – “my worth does not come from the world around me but from above.” Thank you for this reminder!
Marissa put it perfectly! I’m a blog reader not writer and also never post anything,but I felt like I needed to tell you thanks as well! Your blog always warms my heart when I read it with your great wardrobe posts and sweet Rowan stories, but I’ve been struggling with the same issues lately and needed to read something just like this! Thanks so much again. L
Jen – From a momma of 9, I so understand the weirdly enjoying the sickness thing. It always makes me stop and cuddle and realize what is truly important. We are on the tail-end of chickenpox – has been making its way thru all 9 – up to my eyeballs in Aveeno baths and calamine and was becoming, well, just plain tired of it all. Then a couple nights ago, my 9 year old, covered from head to toe, scratching terribly, woke me up at 2am and said, “Mommy, would you just sit with me for a few minutes, I think it would make me feel better.” Motherhood, wouldn’t trade it for the world!!
You weren’t the only one struggling with feeling inadequate this week! I’m glad you were able to find something that pulled you out of your funk–I’m still looking. Here’s to hopefully having a better week!!
So sorry for a sick baby! Those photos of Rowan are so precious though, it’s just awful that she wasn’t feeling well.
Funny you should mention this… I had a very similar week. It’s interesting (and a little bit scary) to learn how quickly insecurity and dissatisfaction can creep into your life! Best to kick those nasty thoughts back into their place and worry about more important things… like sick babies!
Thanks for sharing, Jen. I just found your blog and am already inspired by your point of view.
I have been reading your blog for ages- but this is the first time I felt compelled to comment. What a wonderfully refreshing blog post. To be so honest was something rare to find in blogs… Often it’s glossy & wonderful & full of rainbows & sunshine. It was wonderful to hear that you are, well, human! I hope Rowan feels like herself again soon- there’s not much worse in the world than a sick child!!
oh jen, you are just the sweetest. I totally understand where you are coming from. I’ve been through this exact thing so many times it’s not funny – i think we all fall into that trap of thinking the things of the world are important, when really they aren’t. It is nice when we get gently reminded of what really matters. I swear your little story is almost a carbon copy of what I was feeling/going through about 3 weeks ago. Nice to know I’m not the only one 🙂 Sending you big hugs and hoping Rowan starts feeling better really soon!!!!
(ps can’t wait to see you this weekend in TX!)
jen, you’re amazing. you have a great genuine blog and it shines through in your posts. i love that you don’t paint a perfect picture of your family because you’re so easy to relate to! congrats on the “mama”! that’s something REAL to celebrate. 🙂
jen, this post is one of the many reasons why i so admire you and your blog. being a mommy is not always glamorous. it’s hard work. but every moment with your child is a blessing and i know i wouldn’t change it for the world. thank you for always being so real and showing the ups with the downs. i am so very happy that Rowan said Mama! how exciting and I bet it made every frustrating moment last week seem like nothing at all. here’s to a wonderful week up ahead!
P.S. I absolutely love your blog and find it so refreshing!!
Awe Jen, I’m so sorry you had such a rough week. I hate when my brain brings me to a place of unhappiness and frustration too. Wish we lived closer so we could talk over wine or beer and meet for playdates all the time .
You are such an amazing lady, and mother.
I hope little Rowan is feeling lots better, big hugs!!!!
Thanks for always being real Jen, I love the feeling that I can relate.
Don’t feel silly for the thoughts that plagued you this past week and thanks for sharing.
I’m glad that she is feeling better! And saying mama!! That’s so exciting.
Our 15-month old just said mama for the first time last weekend, but now she’s only saying it when she’s whining/crying. Ahhh… the hilarity!
This will be a good week! Sending you some good vibes.
I often get stuck in those funks too. The devil sure knows how to get in my head and make something out of nothing. I love your honesty in these parenting posts. Its nice to know someone else is dealing with the same sort of things. Thanks!
Oh I feel like this soo often…i’m starting to wonder if i’m deficient in some vitamins?! hope you are all feeling rested and better soon!
I started following your blog a few months ago and it is easily my favorite read. I really love the parenting ups and downs series because it makes me feel less alone in the sometimes isolating world of parenting. I really admire your decision to be more real, worry less about sponsorships and “keeping up” in the blogosphere and focus more on your family. I think that is truly admirable. Your projects and artistic abilities are always beautiful as well. Thank you for such an inspiring and uplifting blog.
What a precious blessing you have in Rowan! Don’t worry girl, life has ups and downs and everyone feels jealousy. I have felt the same way all too often and it feels humanizing to read that someone I look up to so much has days like this too. Hope they’re few and far between for you.
poor poor Rowan, and poor you. I often get stuck in my own rut, feeling like im not good enough at anything i do and how easy it seems to be for others. I know how hard it is to pull yourself out of that too, so well done you. I hate being the green eyed jealous monster and when it rears its ugly head i have to do something to distract myself from it and move on.
Just so you know though, i’ve been following your blog for a while now and i think you’re positively awesome. i look at you sometimes and feel like i am lacking, you are such a creative wonderful spirit, its lovely!
And YAYY! Rowan said mama, isn’t it the most amazing sound ever?! and o bet it was even more wonderful having waited so long to hear it.
Much love from across the pond and get well wishes to Rowan! xx
This definitely struck a chord with me too – I’ve had a mean case of the blues and self-pity the past couple of days and I know the only thing thats going to get me out of it is taking on the important things in life and getting out of my own head. Sorry you had a sick baby!
I love your blog and I think you do an amazing job at showing all aspects of your life. I love all your thoughts on parenting (even though I’m not a parent) and I’ve always admired your style, openness and honesty. Thank you.
Thank you for being so real in your posts, I totally can relate!
Jen – I am loving these weekly parenting posts you’re doing! I’m not a parent myself yet, though I hope to be one day, and I find your honesty and candidness simply beautiful. I truly appreciate your willingness to put your true feelings – both the joys and the tough times – out there. So many women are relating to you and being inspired by you!
I wish I read this last week. I would have called you to talk. I know those moments all too well! I get really “thinky” right before my ‘friend’ every month. It is the worst thing! It’s so powerful. If that makes any sense. But I’m glad you’re feeling better. You are an a amazing woman, wife, mommy, sister, daughter and friend.
I think that today’s women have more of these problems than past generations. The internet is a great thing but if I go online too much, read about other peoples lives, see other peoples things I get so insecure and find myself worrying and caring about things that didn’t bother me before. There is really only so much reality to what you see/read. Like you said, when you look at your family, that is truth.
You’re an inspiration. I’ve been feeling quite similar to you, and this post gave me a lot of perspective.
Jen, thanks for being so honest. Your blog is so refreshing.