Rowan is such a little cutie. She is growing so fast. This week it feels like all the sudden she fits much better in 3m clothing than in newborn items. I am slowing starting to put away things that she doesn’t fit into anymore. Its sad but I am having so much fun dressing her. They make more clothing like items for 3m than newborns. I am obsessed with anything that has cats on it, but I am even more obsessed with a baby wearing something with a cat on it. Plus if the cat is wearing glasses. So awesome- haha.
Thank you to everyone for all your comments last week about nursing. I appreciate everyone’s advice and tips. We are still taking nursing one day at a time as we decide what is the right choice for us. I have taken a little of the pressure of myself as far as going out and pumping goes. I decided if we were out that I am totally ok with supplementing with formula. It has helped me even enjoy nursing a little more when we are home. Plus it gives Kev a chance more often to feed her and I know he loves that.
Rowan is doing so good this week. She is still quite fussy in the evenings, but aren’t most babies? She still sleeps awesome thru the nights. She sleeps almost every night from 10:30pm to 8:00am. She has even been sitting in her swing for a good amount of time, just awake and looking around. I was able to make lunch yesterday and eat it while she sat in there. haha it was such a huge accomplishment. I wanted to do a jump high five with someone! I love her little smile, her big alert eyes, her pouting little lips and her round sweet cheeks. She is the most adorable little baby ever. She really is developing quite a little personality and a very healthy little cry. When she is mad- she is really mad. But she loves standing up on your lap while you hold her, she loves to lay on her back and stare at the flashing lights on her floor mat and she loves going for walks with her daddy.
The first few weeks were rough but I never really felt like I was down or had any kind of postpartum, but in the last week or so I have felt a lot more of the “baby blues” I have heard people talk about. Do I think I am depressed? No, but I have been having a lot more down days lately. I think for me the initial craziness that the baby is here is starting to fade and now its just left me trying to figure out this new life that we have with Rowan here. I don’t love her any less, but sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed with wanting to get everything done but I just can’t with her around. I know it will get easier and we will figure out our routine but some days it just gets the best of me. I also have a hard time with feeling so overwhelmed with love for her that I can’t stop thinking about what I would do if something happened to her. I have never really been a worrier but something about having this little helpless baby makes you worry about everything that is around her. Any tips on the baby blues? I am so grateful and in love with my family so sometimes it baffles me when I just can’t stop crying sometimes. Boy this whole thing is so emotional.
Things that can always makes things better though. Her little smile and hugs from Kev.
If you had a minute I would really appreciate if you could vote for us…
I don’t have a baby…but I’ve raised a puppy. This probably sounds awful, but I went through the same thing a few weeks after we brought Riley home. I love her to death, but there were days I was frustrated and actually scared to walk in the front door. Not because of the imminent destruction puppy teeth can cause, but the responsibility and life changes. My boyfriend jokingly called it post-puppy depression 🙂 I think every new mom (in all senses) goes through a little of the down days. You’ve had your life one way for so long, and now making a meal is a struggle and a triumph all in one! The fact that you are doing your style files again and your hair looks gorgeous is a testament in and of itself that you’re doing a great job!
I think everyone gets to a point where the reality of how much life has changed sets in and it’s very overwhelming. I went through a phase where I thought about every possible senario and way Hendrix could get hurt. I even wrote a blog post titled “morbid mommy” about it. Lol. I don’t think the worryever goes away entirely but it does get better. Every day is a step closer to getting used to your new life.
That baby tee is so cute! Kittens wearing glasses FTW!
right there with you loveliness. truly. 🙂 she’s a peach!
two things. one, that cat shirt is hilarious, and rowan is adorbs. and two, thanks for being so honest here about your struggles and joys. i’m expecting in march, and i am the first of my friends to start a family, so it’s been so (and continues to be) helpful to read your posts on being a new mom. so thanks!
I know exactly what you mean I’ve gone through the same thing with both of my babies! This sounds trite but it’s what I keep reminding myself is that the baby stage only lasts a short time and the projects, workouts, cleaning, etc will always be there. So try to enjoy all the snuggles and give yourself mommy-recharging breaks because there will come a time when that baby turns into a toddler and you’ll miss the cuddles. At least I did. Hence baby #2. If you need anyone to talk to my email is j.k.heater(at)gmail.com. I’m not saying I have all the answers, just an experience that very closely mirrors yours. 🙂
She is so cute! And I believe that she looks like you!!
Rowan is just so adorable…love the cat with glasses!
When you have kids, you celebrate the little victories…eating your lunch with no disturbances. Having dinner without having to get up and get more juice, wiping someones nose, changing the channel….I still celebrate that…and my boys are 2 and 5 1/2.
Ugh, I know that feeling of overwhelming emotion when your baby is so small. Just keep in mind that you will never go through anything as physically and emotionally draining as having a child. Your body is being pushed to it’s limits, but within a few months you will be back to normal. Just try to not put pressure on yourself as a mom, you have her whole life to do things the right way.
Such a cutie!
Hi jen,
I have a 2 week old baby girl (Lily) and I can’t tell you how great it is to read your blog right now! It is so nice to know that I am not going crazy. I am going through a lot of what you are going through right now. Being a mom is the greatest thing I have ever experienced but also the hardest thing I have ever experienced. It’s amazing how difficult it is to find time to do things like take a shower! Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
After I had my first child I was floored by anxiety after the first week. It was awful. I felt helpless and scared. I loved my baby so much that I would stare at him and feel overwhelmed by the feeling that I wanted him to always be happy and safe. For me, the panic/anxiety was severe enough that it didn’t fully go away on its own. I think some of it was due to nutritional deficiencies due to breastfeeding. My baby was getting the best of what I had to offer nutritionally, and my body had a hard time functioning on what was left. Make sure you’re still taking your prenatals and calcium/mag. Fish oil capsules (4 a day at the advice of my midwife) worked wonders for me, but maybe flaxseed oil would have the same effect and still be vegetarian friendly. Also, my midwife had me go see a chinese herbalist/acupunturist. She gave me some powdered herbs that made a huge difference, and after only one round of acupuncture I felt like a new person. No anxiety to speak of. Email me if you ever need to talk. Motherhood is hard, and I wish you all the best with the transition.
Jen,
I’m sorry – the emotions are crazy. I’ve been where you are. It’s such a crazy time. This new life with a baby is the new normal, the old life is a thing of the past and a lot of it is just getting used to it, which takes a long time in my opinion.
I think keeping in good touch with your midwife/ doctor about how you are feeling is a great idea. It’s hard but what the other poster said about being aware of the little things (which it sounds like you already do!) is great too – a night of sleep, sitting through a whole dinner, a glass of wine at the end of the day, a *so appreciated* date with Kev out of the house…these things help.
But do talk to your health care providers, because they can really help you distinguish what is normal and what is not.
I supplemented with formula with my second, and that worked great for us, but it did dry up my supply. Breastfeeding is 100 % supply and demand, so when I started doing that, it was only about a month before I could no longer breastfeed her. I was okay with that but it kind of bummed me out because I really just wanted to have 2 formula feedings a day (she was 6 months) and in the end, my supply completely ran out. Looking back, I think if I had kept to a very rigid schedule I could have kept it up but what happened for us was she would fill up on the supplement and then not want to breastfeed, well, then my body thought it didn’t need to produce so much, and so on…you get the idea. It was an emotional day for me when I could no longer produce and I had to go to 100 % formula. Fine in the end but just kind of came to where I didn’t feel I got to make a choice but the choice was made for me…:(
Very best, you look fantastic and Rowan is beautiful!
it’s so good to read your post. its your creativity and fashion that makes everyone love your blog, but its your honesty and vulnerability that makes everyone love you. i have a friend who kid is always happy, nursed well and she didn’t have any baby blues… but her little boy is over 1 and still doesn’t sleep through the night. he wakes up 2 and sometimes 3 times – screaming. you may have just the opposite little cutie! everyones experience is different and hard if different ways. either way… you are both the perfectly suited moms for each little child. your talents, personalities and strengths are just what is needed for your individual baby. i think you are doing a great job at balancing listening to other’s advice and doing what you just know it best for your baby. (and you and kev)… you are doing a great job with YOUR baby.
I had the baby blues with both my kiddos – not depression necessarily but just that let down, overwhelmed feeling. Here’s what worked for me:
1) Get enough sleep no matter what the cost. Sleep in when you can, go to bed early, whatever.
2) Do something a little luxurious and nice for yourself every day. This can be as little as fixing a special lunch for yourself, visiting a store you love, watching a movie in the afternoon, ordering out for dinner.
3) Other moms. My hospital had a great new baby support group that i went to and through that met 6 other moms with babies the same age as mine. We ended up meeting up once or twice a week for coffee and chat and are still friends 6 years later. Other moms can really help on those long days with a fussy babe.
good luck and as others have said, it doesn’t last long and you know yourself and your baby best. What works for one, doesn’t necessarily work for another. It sounds like you’re doing a great job with little Rowan.
You’re doing such a good job!
(I wish more people had told me that in the first 3 months…)
Sam is 8 months now, and it still gets easier–and more fun–every day. Those first 3 months are a beast, even while being an awesome experience.
And just a word of caution: talk to your doc (or midwife or doula or someone) about your blues. My postparpartum depression kicked in between 6 and 8 weeks–I was completely find (if tired) at m 6-week checkup, but by 8 weeks I was sobbing hysterically in 3 hour showers. It was a scary and potentially dangerous time for me, and even while I felt embarrassed about talking to someone, it was the best decision I ever made. You’re not alone. It’s okay to feel that way!!!
(And btw, you looked so adorable in your black skinny jeans yesterday that I promptly went online and bought the same pair! Hoping their magical mom jeans…)
I always say the first 6 weeks are by far the hardest (for me anyway) my hormones were just so whacky – crying because of something on the news and trying to get into a schedule with my baby..
it gets better – every week it gets better..
I love reading your blog, and I also really appreciate your honesty! I’m not a Mom yet, but I hope to be, and I just had a quick question- you might have said it before but do you have sweet Rowan on a feeding schedule, or do you just feed her when she cries? I’m asking because her sleep schedule sounds amazing!!! And it’s different than a lot of our friend’s experiences….
Thanks so much for sharing her and your life with us!
She is so freaking adorable! I know exactly what you mean. My little girl just turned 2 months old and she can’t fit into ANY of her newborn clothes. We’ll probably need to go shopping for her soon.
this is totally unrelated to this post, but I met a teacher in my English department with the same name. Go figure! I thought I would never hear anyone else with a name like Rowan. Anyways, good luck with the baby blues! I wish I could help more, but I’m only 21.
First off, Rowan is darling. But you already knew that. Second I’d just like to concur that pumping sucks (both figurative and otherwise). I’m doing it but it isn’t easy so I understand where you’re coming from. Also, not sure if it helps but you’re an amazing mom to your little girl and all us fans love to cheer you on on the pep rally that is the comments. You go girl, haha!!
Personally, I think being a bit depressed after having your first child is not only normal, but healthy! Even though you have gained this amazing new family member, you have also lost the life you had before. I think most new mothers, especially those who had a rich, fulfilling life before the birth of their baby, go through this experience. Sadly, it is often not talked about because there is this pressure to only focus on the positives and fear that if you don’t people will think you don’t love or appreciate your baby.
My daughter is now 4 1/2 and I have my second baby due in a couple of weeks. Pregnancy the second time around has been so much easier to cope with and much less confronting. I also think it will be a lot easier to cope with the demands of a newborn because I have become used to having less freedom anyway and won’t have to come to terms with the massive life change that comes with having your first (though I am still kind of dreading those first 3 months as they are so demanding and exhausting)! Having said that, parenting becomes so much easier and more enjoyable as your kids get older. My daughter is so much fun and such a little character. For me, it was really just those first couple of years that were difficult.
Well, that’s my two cents anyway! Good luck and don’t feel bad about feeling down. I promise it does get better and better.
For me, I had a break down at 7 weeks, but now at 8 weeks yesterday I feel like a new woman, like our family is coming together and more in love with my baby then ever. I think for us new mommas changes can come so quickly. But I really hear you. At 6 weeks, the newness wore off and I kind of struggled with the lowest point at week 7, but now all is well. Who knows what weeks 9 and 10 will bring!
She is adorable. She looks so cute in her little purple skirt!
Oh my goodness, what a little lady! I had to comment to tell you that she is the absolute image of her dad! I love it! She is by far one of the most gorgeous babies of 2010! <3
Rowan is as cute as her name (which is overly adorably cute)!
I don’t have a baby, but lots of my friends do and I would say all of my close friends went through something similar that you’re writing about here. And, Sarah S. is dead on with the do something a little luxurious for yourself when you can. This helped every single one of my friends (they all told me and usually it was a good excuse for me to do something luxurious for myself too, ha!) and all of them had a different definition. For one, it was just going for a walk sans baby. For another it was getting a weekly pedicure. And so on and so on. The common denominator was that for each new Mom, it gave her a reminder that she is still there, even though she’s gone through this hugeorific life change.
You can do it! (Thank you for having an awesome blog.)
you’re so right about those cheeks of hers…adorable!! She is really precious, congrats again!!
Hi Jen! My baby (Mae) is 4 1/2 months… oh boy, reading your post felt like looking in the mirror. Driving is the worst, I’m just sure every car out there is going to hit us (after several have run red lights, I guess this fear is justified), but I know that worried feeling and fear. I think one wants to be mellow and laid back, but until you have this baby, who means the world to you, you have no idea how it will feel, how precious and dear they are and then you start to think about what would happen if anything were to happen to them…. Anyway, I feel ya sister. As far as the getting stuff done… I’ve just sort of let go and let it be okay. Dirty house? It’s okay. Pile of laundry? It’s okay. Of course, I’d love a fairy to come to my house and deal with all of these things, but I’m trying not to let myself feel bad about it if it just doesn’t get done. Good luck Jen!
Just that you should know everything that you’re feeling is normal. You’re actually doing other new moms / moms-to-be a great service by being honest about what you’re feeling. I don’t know if new moms feel pressured to talk about how wonderful everything is and suppress any other feelings, because otherwise they won’t be seen as a wonderful mother, but I certainly would have appreciated more honesty about the demands and feelings that come having from a newborn, so I could have been more prepared. My little one is 2 1/2 years now (and what a world of difference from a baby!), but I remember having such conflicted feelings of being overwhelmed and missing the ability to have some control over my schedule and life, yet having this overpowering love for my baby where I just needed to feel he was perfectly safe at all times (which for me pretty much being with me or in my line of sight at all times). All normal feelings and I eventually felt like myself again.
One thing that helped me when I was feeling overwhelmed by everything I had to do but my baby was fussy and demanding my attention was to rock and sing to my baby (to my own tune) a poem – it’s called “Song for a Fifth Child” by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton about letting go and just enjoying your little one because babies don’t stay babies for long. http://www.eaganwestmomsclub.org/Poetry/SongForChild.htm
I don’t even have kids and I already worry about them! Lol Sounds like your going through what all my friends went through when they had their firsts. Didn’t really understand it, but the more I am around their kids, the more maternal I feel, which is scary! I voted for your blog (seeing as you are my favorite!). If you want to, follow me at:
http://www.indieseamstress.blogspot.com
Have a good weekend Jen!
i have to get used to this one handed typing… i bet ur a pro by now. I think you’re doing so well. Every day is something new with a baby and just when you think you’ve got it all down something else changes. They keep you on your toes for sure. I love Rowan’s outfit. Little girl stuff is so fun! That’s so awesome that she sleeps so well at night. And I don’t know why but I think it is common for babies to be fussy at night. Matteo is perfect all the time but seems to be fussy in the evenings. Most of the time it’s gas, I wonder if it has something to do with what I eat.
Anyway – I do know all about the “baby blues” – I think it’s just another part of it. I don’t have much advise because I don’t know if you can do anything to make it go away totally, it just takes time. But some things that I did to make it a little better… First, You have to make sure you’re eating right. It’s easy to forget to eat but it’s so important. Second, try to get dressed every day, get up, shower, make yourself feel pretty. Third, I would try to go out as often as I could. Sometimes I would drive to the starbucks all the way across town just to have some time in the car, listening to my music, and because it was a drive thru. (even though there was one 2 minutes from my apartment). Four, try to make time with adults, friends, even if it’s just on the phone. Five, make sure you make time for the things you love to do – you may even find that’s changed since Rowan is here, that you don’t have as much interest in some of your older hobbies, then try a new one. Maybe a new book or craft of some sort. Six – Cuddle with Rowan baby skin to mommy skin does something. And lots of hugs from Kev. I think you mentioned it but it has some kind of healing powers lol. I remember Anth saying he didn’t know what to do to make me feel better while i was a crying mess and I said “I just need you to hug me” he thought I’d want him to leave me alone.
You are an amazing mommy and I think it’s great that you’re being so honest on your blog. It can be really helpful to mom’s to see they’re not alone in how they’re feeling. I know everyday presents a new challenge, but also every day get’s better. Just be confident with yourself and your decisions and keep finding what works for you. Sorry this was so long, love u!
Breastfeeding really is the hardest during the first month or so–it gets SO MUCH EASIER. And formula is really a hassle comparatively. But really, whatever it takes to be a sane mommy is the most important thing.
It really does get better! This time goes by so fast. Enjoy it and know that soon you’ll be chasing around a screaming toddler!
Hang in there. I’m not a mama, so I have no advice, but I think it’s good that you’re recognizing these thoughts/feelings and talking about them… it seems perfectly normal and that you are NOT alone. Best of luck. And congrats again. She’s darling. I think she looks like her da-da! But she definitely ma-ma’s sense of style (wink). xo.
such a cute outfit, one seriously stylish baby 😉
Our daughter is the same age as yours, and I really hear everything you’re saying. The baby blues hit me hard around week three and then faded. It’s now week seven and it seems like they’re back. It’s very overwhelming.
what a cutie-good job mama!
as far as the fussy nights-i thought i was going nuts till someone pointed out to me that all babies go through that at exactly this time…good news is it should subside here in the next couple of weeks.
she is so pretty, jen! you and kev are so lucky!
Hi Jen
I just wanted to write and say first of all Rowan is just beautiful and secondly you are normal!!!
My daughter Ruby is just over two years but I can remember what you are going through as if it were yesterday.
I often felt like having a newborn baby was like working for a really grumpy boss who demands everything right then and there with very little feedback or reward for all your efforts. I am also a teacher and after spending my days with kids who could negotiate, interact and compromise I found it a real stuggle, at times, when I was home with a tiny baby who was completely vulnerable and who depended soley on me for everything – it is very overwhelming at times.
I think that also when you are confident in your career and have clear indicators of success it is really difficult to be in a situation where you are not sure of your success at times (well this was true for me anyway) but they will come eventually.
I feel like I went through a grieving process for my old life some days, even though my love for my daughter was so big, I still missed my time and space to just be me, create, do whatever without having to worry about anyone else really – I still feel this way some days 2 years later, but it is easier to deal with and seems less important when you start to see your little baby become this completely unique being!
As for getting things done – you will, but it won’t always be in the timeframe or the order you had planned!
As far as the breastfeeding/nursing goes do what is right for you mentally and physically – Rowan won’t be disadvantaged either way. I remember sitting there with tears streaming down my face because I was in agony and my beautiful husband crying with me as he felt completely helpless. Things really did get better with persistence (maybe 3 months in) and I ended up doing it until about 9 months and actually quite enjoyed it in the end. (I sometimes pumped but usually supplemented with formula from about 4.5 months if we were out and about etc) It was my daughter who actually gave it in the end up preferring the bottle and I was fine with it. Just do what you feel is right for you and your family!
Anyway that is probably way too much information so just diregard what is useless but I guess i just wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do and I think that all mums out there feel this way – probably forever but we get a lot better at dealing with it and become more convincing in actually looking and sounding like we know what we are doing!!
All my very best to you and your family
Natalie
Echoing what one commenter said earlier, you are still in the very early stages of nursing, and it does get better. I’m a La Leche League leader, so if you need some support, feel free to contact me! If there’s an LLL group in your area you may want to get to a meeting, it helps to be around other mothers who are in your shoes. Congratulations, your little girl is absolutely darling! (I commented on your earlier entry as well, but wasn’t sure you’d see it there).
She is the most stylish 7 week old baby I’ve seen by far!! I love that Cat tee.
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