So I was broswing around the Roll and Tumble Press shop the other day (which I do frequently, they are so good for presents for people!) and this “Listen to your Heart” one really stood out to me. I feel like that is sort of my motto for life right at this moment. I feel like as you get older and become more secure in who are you and more grounded in the things you believe this really rings true to how I have been making decisions lately. I mean some decisions that are the best for us are not always the ones that are easy and things we want to do, but I think for the most part we know what is best for us.
I feel like Kev and me are going thru a lot of changes right now in our life, we moved, careers are shifting, baby on the way and we are getting a lot of advice from people. Now I love hearing personal experiences and advice but what I am finding out more and more is that instead of getting over whelmed about what everyone else says, I need to consider the thoughts and then apply them as they fit best into our lives. Because when it comes down to it, not everything that works for one will work for the other.
There are a lot of people asking me about how we are going to raise the baby, my philosophy on kids, etc. Which is totally cool. I love talking about it. At first it just scared the crap out of me because I was like “I have no freakin’ idea what we are going to do?” I would starting reading all these books and articles on the matter and get all stressed out thinking we are just going to screw up our kid in the end. This is where the “listen to your heart” comes in. Our baby will always be on the forefront of our minds and we will always have its best interest at heart, so when we make decisions on how we are going to raise it, we just need to look at our situation and figure out what works for us, what we feel comfortable with and what we think will be the best decision for our kid.
And I really think this can be applied to us all- baby or not. We all have decisions and changes we need to make in our lives. Advice is good, but sometimes it can distract you from what you know in your heart is the right decision.
Hmmm was that a rant? I hope that didn’t come across like that. Just wanted to share some things I was thinking about and figuring out for us.
On to this weekend! I will keep it short. Yesterday= AWESOME!! We spent the day with friends celebrating birthdays and special events and its making it clearer and clearer that moving 2.5 hours away from family to Albany was the right decision for us. We miss our family of course but our friends here are amazing and we love them as well!
BEST PART OF WEEKEND: and probably one of the most special moments of my life…
We were lying in bed. It was late. The lights were out. Our room was filled with the glow of the bright street lights out side. We were just chatting. We always seem to talk a ton before we go to sleep. I had my hand on my belly, the baby was moving a ton which it has been doing a lot but all of the sudden I realized that I was feeling the movement on my hand as well as from the inside. This was totally new. I usually only feel the baby from the inside. I grabbed Kev hand and placed it on my belly and said “I think you will be able to feel the baby” we laid quietly for a few moments when all of the sudden the BABY KICKED LIKE CRAZY!! Kev jumped way back saying “WHhhhoooa” haha I don’t think he was expecting to feel such a big movement. haha. It was awesome. I instantly teared up as we giggled in excitement and the baby continued to move around with little kicks. Amazing!!
P.S. You can Find this “Listen to your Heart” print for purchase Here at Roll and Tumble Press! Plus is you havent you should def. go check out all their inventory!
Here here Jen! I am constantly surrounded by pregnant women/new moms and while we’re not looking to have kids anytime soon, my husband and i have already decided, that while advice is great – parenting is an innate instinct and we’ll know what’s best for our baby. that’s not to say advice isn’t great, but i sit with my pregnant friends as new moms spew advice from all corners at them, and even i am overwhelmed. so stick with your heart!
and soooo cute about the kicks, my best friend is also expecting and due right around the same time as you, so its cute to read this and then hear the similar stories from her!
That’s so special that Kev got to feel your baby moving. I remember exactly where we were when Anthony got to feel the baby. It is such an awesome thing. I know that having a baby changes everything and does create a lot of decisions you have to make – but you’re right. Don’t let yourself worry about it. Just take it one day at a time. You will know what is right and you will always figure it out. Every decision might not always be the right one but it always works out in the end. But it doesn’t seem like you’re stressing about it so that’s a great start. You and Kev have always been a great team. That will only get stronger. I hope you have a good day. xo
Awww! What a wonderful post 🙂 How exciting for you and Kev!!
Wow! What a special moment! Sounds absolutely perfect! So so so so so excited for you!!
I love this post. So very true. Pretty much everything we do in life, we should follow our hearts and our gut instinct. I feel they can never steer you wrong.
What a sweet moment for you and Kev and the baby.
thats such a cute story. Yeah everyone likes to put in their two cents, whether you ask for it or not. Sometimes you just have to nod and smile…it sucks.
We are not sure if we want to have children, but if we do, I am dreading the advice giving. I think parenting is a really personal thing, and yes, you need help, but sometimes people (who are sometimes strangers! Hello! None of your business whether my friend is breastfeeding or not!!!!) come off as condescending and if you don’t follow their advice they take some kind of offense, or if you don’t follow their advice and something goes wrong they go “I told you so”… oh it never ends. I felt this way when we were registering for wedding gifts- probably sounds stupid, but I did- and of course my MIL made comments about how our registry was too long, and my grandmother told me that she was buying me a different hand mixer because the one I’d picked wasn’t that great (what did I know?)— ah, and those were just things! This is a child! So personal…
Anyway, my policy on advice is that I freely give it and I freely take it. In other words, if people ask for my advice or seem open to it I’ll tell them what I would do- but freely. I’ll say what I want to say, but I don’t give them any kind of instructions as to whether or not they should follow it. And I don’t give advice in exchange for anything. It’s free. And when I ask for advice, I try to make clear to the person giving that I am looking for their wisdom, but that I still get to choose whether or not I’ll use it. That just because I don’t use it, doesn’t mean the advice wasn’t good or that I don’t like them, it just means that I didn’t use it in my situation.
And then, after I have given advice or taken advice, I let go. And try to avoid worrying about what the other person thinks of my advice or my actions. Because those are mine, not theirs. In the end, I have to answer for me an my family, not them.
oh, that was so long, but maybe it’s helpful? 🙂
Thanks for “ranting”. I needed to hear someone verbalize what I’ve been thinking/going through right now. You are so right on. Too much advice can def. make things more confusing.
Wow, Jen. I think you’re completely right on listening to your heart. My husband and I have recently had to make a lot of hard decisions that no one else really understands. We know they’re for the best, though, and that’s what counts even if no one else can agree. I think advise is good to a certain extent, and its always wise to listen to good counsel. In the end, though, no one knows you better that yourself and God.
Hey Jen, it’s so wonderful to read your posts, the intimacies and the willingess to share and be honest is a wonderful and rare trait in a blog. I think other people’s advice and ideas are marevelous but they can also be incredibly frightening and lead to second guessing yourself. It’s wonderful to follow your own instincts and beliefs and so much more meaningful to make your own mistakes as well! Thanks again for sharing!
This is such a great post, and I feel like I can relate a bit. My husband and I aren’t ready to have kids for a long time, but ever since we got engaged, all we seem to get is “when are you going to have kids?”, “why aren’t you having kids yet?” “don’t you want to have kids?” and so on.
It’s pressure enough to be married, and I can’t imagine what it must be like to actually be pregnant and to have so many different voices giving you so much (and sometimes unsolicited) advice. You are so right — following your heart is probably the best thing you can do to make yourself happy and to do what’s best for yourself and your family. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
Ahh congrats on this fabulous milestone! Your baby’s going to be a runner or a gymnast someday, or maybe a kickboxer 😉
So sweet those babykicks, that is lovely.
Hi! I have a couple of names for you: Magda Gerber and Maria Montessori. If you’re interested, these two women developed some cool philosophies about children and child development. As you said, listen to your heart. These two women spoke to mine! Best to you, baby and hubby!