Well it’s 4:30am and I’m up again for another “restless, I can’t sleep, get this baby out of me” kind of night. What better way to pass the time and take my mind off the fact that I am not sleeping and super uncomfortable then to sit at the computer when all is quiet and totally word dump into a post. I’m sure it’ll be random about all kinds of things going on. You ready? Alright, let’s do this…
1. Pregnancy. Oooooh if I am honest with you I do not like being pregnant. It’s a very real struggle for me. I know I need to keep things in perspective because there are millions of women struggling with loss and infertility and those totally trump silly feelings about actually being pregnant but the feelings are real nonetheless (if you are one of those women, I pray for you, I hear you, you are not unnoticed. If you want, please roll your eyes at this part and skip over. I totally get it). I think it’s the loss of control of your own body that really does me in. It’s very weird to feel like a stranger in your own body for so many months. The little person inside takes over and you’re left with weight gain you don’t want, sleepless nights, exhaustion, discomfort, weird appetite aversions, swollen everything and the handful or other super pleasant (not) side effects. I feel like I handled them all better with my other pregnancies but this time around it’s just been plain difficult. Is it age? Is it the fact that there are small children I am trying to keep up with? I don’t know but this pregnancy has been tough. At the beginning, I was really struggling with the weight gain. I know it’s so trivial but it was so frustrating to be eating so healthy, working out quite a lot and just keep seeing the weight come on. I’ve come to terms with it a bit. Excepting my body just needs the weight I guess. I don’t understand it but I am trusting it as best as I can. I am just not someone who gains like 20 pounds. I am at 37 pounds with 4.5 weeks to go. I am proud of my body and the work it has done, don’t get me wrong. Birthing a baby is quite a superhero feat but still. It can be difficult. Am I alone? Do you love being pregnant? Do you struggle? I have friends that love every glorious minute and I love that about them. There are moments I love but I am just really looking at the finish line.
2. It’s my birthday today! I am 33. Ahhh!!! I have so, so enjoyed being 30 so far. They’ve been my most favorite years so far but I will be honest and say 33 sounds quite legit as an adult. hahaha I still picture myself as a 24 year old. Yesterday especially, I was on the eve of my birthday, had kindergarten orientation, Rowan’s first soccer practice (that I pulled up to in our minivan), and had a midwife appointment for our 3rd baby. Ummm, hello? How did I get here?? Aren’t we still newly married, running around Hawaii without a care in the world? I LOVE everything about this stage of life. I really do, but it was one of those weird surreal moments like “what? this is just blowing my mind today”. Anyway, Happy Birthday to me!
3. Change, Change, Change. Our house feels a bit chaotic lately. I feel like we are lifting up the house, shaking it all around and waiting for it all to settle again. Nothing’s bad but there is a heck of a lot of transitions going on around here. I feel like everyone is feeling them too. Especially sweet, sensitive Rowan. Poor girl. 1. Finley is pretty much potty trained- but we’re still in the “we need to find a potty every 2 seconds when we go somewhere” phase. Bending down almost 36 weeks pregnant in every public restroom from Target to the gas station has been super fun. There is no room for being a germaphobe. Like literally no room… picture a toddler, a huge pregnant women and your above average size 4 year old all in a single stall together. Are you laughing yet? You should be. We are like a circus side show act everytime we walk into a bathroom 2. We’ve moved Finley from her crib and her room into Rowan’s room to share the bunk bed with her. Bedtime has been such a dream since. Sarcasm. 3. KINDERGARTEN!!! is starting on Wednesday (hold me). 4. This baby is coming soooooooon! 5. All September activities are starting up again (dance, gymnastics, Mom’s group, soccer, etc…) how does one keep up with all the schedules, emails, etc… I need a secretary for my life please.
4. Raise the roof (heck yes, I just said raise the roof) for time away with your husband. Kev and I just got back from 5 days away in Florida together. We were hoping to head up to Nova Scotia but decided for something more relaxing and laid back and just headed to my parents house down there on the coast. The girls went and spent some time with both are parents out in Massachusetts. We had such a wonderful time. We had no agenda, no plans, nothing. We read, we ate out a ton, we took naps, we lounged around, we went to the bookstore, we went to the beach, it was glorious! It’s always hard leaving your kids. I totally get it but I can not say how important it is enough to get some time away (every year if you can) with your spouse. It doesn’t have to be fancy or far away- just something. You realize once you’re there how much you missed just connecting with each other away from everything else. Of course there is lots of talk about the kids- it’s natural but then you start joking and talking about everything else you fell in love with over. So grateful for the time away. Boy, I sure love Kev. What a good man he is!
5. So I got this comment the other day on the Target/Stride Rite post along the lines of “how dare you pimp your children out for something you would never buy” sort of thing and it totally made me laugh. I don’t ever feel the need to justify what I do here on the blog. Maybe years ago I did, but not now. However this comment was just so funny to me I feel like I wanted to write a little something about it. Why are some people always so offended by a sponsored post? Out of all the stupid PR emails that hit my inbox, I rarely say yes to any of them. I chose very careful who I work with and who I don’t. Free stuff is very rarely worth my time and energy. I stated very clearly that it was a sponsored post. I wasn’t hiding it. I never in that post wrote that they were my personal favorite shoes or even cute for that matter (although I do think Rowan looks adorable in that post). I wrote very honestly. Were the shoes my taste? maybe not but they’re still very well made shoes and I accepted that sponsored post because I love my daughter. I knew Rowan would die over getting the chance to pick out her own shoes and get her very own post. I don’t force my kids to always wear everything that’s my taste just for blog pictures sake or for some fake image I want to keep up. Yes, they’re little and I still have a say but I love letting Rowan express herself. She has her very own opinions and thoughts on what she thinks looks good and that just happens to be pink and purple sparkly shoes. She put those shoes on and said she thought she could run faster than ever before and has worn them nonstop since. That’s what matters to me. The end (drops mic, walks off stage).
5. I finished the baby’s room! It’s so freakin’ cute. I can’t wait to share with you guys. I just want to make a few little stuffed animal things and then I’ll take some pictures and show you. It’s the cleanest, most put together room in our house right now and some days I just sit on the floor in there and take a few deep breathes away from all the crazy. hahahaha
6. I picked up my birth pool yesterday! Oh boy! Home birth #2 here we come!
7. I just want to say a big ol’ thank you to all you wonderful readers. Some are new and some are like old friends now reading since before Rowan was even born. Thanks for sticking around with me. It really means so much and your support and encouragement never goes unnoticed. I am so very grateful for all of you!
8. I’ve fizzled out. I think all my thoughts have been drained, I am feeling empty on what to say now… Here ends the random middle of the night post.