Are you a list maker? A goal setter? I am and I’m not all at the same time. I normally like making resolutions for the New Year but this year it didn’t even cross my mind. The ball dropped and I just moved on with life. The other night I was thinking about it… why didn’t I feel the need to make them? I decided in all my 32 years that this is the first year I feel ok with who I am, where I am, and I don’t need an overall list of goals to strive for. I don’t mean any of that in a sense of being lazy or that I have it all figured out and there is nothing for me to change. I mean that for the first time, I am confident in knowing where my strengths are and honest enough to know where I fail (a lot) and I am ok with that. Getting older kind of rules in that sense. I am proud of the things I have accomplished and I am daily working on the things that I struggle with (e.g. expectations, patience, achievement). I am excited for this year! I think it’s going to be a really great one.
Last year was a big year of growth for me. I was pushed in a lot of ways out of my comfort zones and really had to trust and draw closer to Christ. I took a hard look at the things I was trying to strive for and prayed if those were right for me and for my family. Things like our eating habits, exercise, the view I had of myself, schooling, foster care, this blog and the way we spend our time and money. We made a lot of changes and are still working through some of them, but God is good and He loves us deeply. He always gave us answers when we needed them and strength to wait if need be. This verse really struck me last year “Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world” – James 4:8. That’s where I struggled most this past year I think. I was stuck between what I thought I wanted and listening to God. Ever wonder how much smoother things could have gone if you just truly trusted and listened to what God had planned for you in the first place? I always think of the Israelites in the Bible and wonder how quickly they could have gotten to the promise land if they had just been obedient. We could all save ourselves a lot of heartache. Fear and disobedience can make a journey much longer. BUT the good news is, He also redeems. We must remember that he makes ALL things new. All of our journeys, struggles, doubts, are all used for His glory in the end. I can say without a doubt the Lord used mine this past year. What hope we have in Him!
So here I am. The beginning of 2015 with an open mind and open heart. Trying to draw closer to God and listen to what’s in store for us this year. I don’t want to be divided between the world and God, I want to trust in a way that I’ve never let myself before. I want HIS work to be done.
Let’s do this 2015!!