Last week Kev and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary and what better way to celebrate than hopping a plane to Costa Rica for a long weekend together. It was a quick flight from FL to the Liberia airport in Costa Rica. We stayed at the Andaz Peninsula Papagayo Resort. Let’s just say it was by far the nicest, most beautiful hotel we’ve ever stayed in. There was a huge shower that had sliding glass doors that opened up to the balcony, making it an awesome outdoor shower overlooking the jungle and the bay. Poured cement floors, lots of natural wood and light. It was like they knew the way to my heart. There were monkey’s right outside our balcony! We just fell in love with the country. With only 2 full days there, we didn’t get to explore a whole lot (which we would have loved to do) but instead decided to just relax and enjoy the beauty of the Papagayo Peninsula with hopes of returning on a longer trip one day.
We didn’t need a long time away from the kids (we’d miss them waaay too much) but having 2 days of one on one time together was so important for our relationship. After 8 years we are more bonded, more in love, better friends than ever. It is work, don’t get me wrong. We have to be conscious to feed our relationship- and that can be very hard with small children. I am so very thankful we got this time away. I’ve been reading a book called Home Making (thanks Lesley) by J.R. Miller. It was written in 1882 and I had my doubts about it before I started. I wasn’t sure I would like what he had to say about being a wife and motherhood from a perspecitve so long ago. I honestly have never underlined and dog-eared more pages of a book ever! I just loved it. There is a whole chapter about married life which really struck a chord with me. There was so much simple truth to what he wrote. I loved that he listed out these things as most important 1. loving patience 2. courtesy 3. unity of interests 4. guarding against misunderstandings (there is no room for pride) and 5. presence of Christ. I couldn’t agree more. They are all simple things but I feel like they are usually the first to be forgotten as the years on go. I love these sections of the book about marriage…
“The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions, the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment, and countless infinitesimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling. These may seem trifles, and the omission of them may be deemed unworthy of thought, but they are the daily bread of love, and hearts go hungry when they are omitted. It may only be carelessness at first in a busy husband or a weary wife- which fails in these small, sweet courtesies, and it may seem a little matter- but in the end the result may be a growing far apart of two lives which might have been forever very happy in each other- had their early love but been cherished and nourished.”
“Love is always ready to deny itself, to give, sacrifice, just in the measure of its sincerity and intensity. Perfect love is perfect self-forgetfulness. Hence where there is love in a home, unselfishness is the law. Each forgets self and lives for others.But where there is selfishness it mars joy. One selfish soul will destroy the sweetness of life in any home. It is like an ugly bush in the midst of a garden of flowers. It was selfishness that destroyed the first home and blighted all the loveliness of Paradise; and it has been blighting lovely things in earth’s home ever since. We need to guard against this spirit.”
Sometimes I think it’s so easy to focus on the negative things about our spouse. What they are doing wrong, what they aren’t doing to help, etc… but you will be surprised the change of attitude that can happen and the change in your spouse actually when you really start examining yourself instead. That last quote about being less selfish is one I am really trying to pray over more these days. Kev is a wonderful man and husband. He loves the Lord, he works hard and he loves unconditionally. He is the boy I fell in love with over 10 years ago. The one I want to travel and explore the world with, to be neck deep in this parenting adventure with and the person who knows my every hurt, joy, dream and sorrow. He is my everything. It’s such an honor to live this life alongside him. He’s my best friend and hands down favorite person on earth. These past 8 years have shaped us into who we are today. I am excited to see how another 8, than another 8 will change us as well.