If there is one thing I hate writing about on this blog it’s posts about the downfalls of blogging. We all know them. We’ve all read hundreds of posts about peoples thoughts on them. I just don’t like focusing on such a negative topic. For me what I struggle with has changed over the years, what use to bother me doesn’t so much anymore. There will always be haters. That is just life. People can criticize, I am ok with that. I will never get how someone who doesn’t know us at all can make such outlandish judgements but that is besides the point. I have moved on. To each there own… You will never make everyone happy.
Over the past year I have changed my perspective on blogging a lot. I dropped all sponsored ads, almost all sponsored posts and my least favorite of all… giveaways. I stopped looking at any stat tracker I had because well it didn’t really matter anymore. Every since Rowan was born I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck in this limbo of fashion and mom blogger. Not really sure where I belonged. I built up a lot of fear and stress inside over finding the balance between the two. Not wanting to tip the scale to far to one side. Over the past few months this has been weighing heavily on me for some reason. I started doubting all kinds of stuff, feeling like because I am not straight one thing or the other I get looked over for a lot of stuff. Again, not sure why I even care but just being honest.
I am a big huge perfectionist. I will not put up a post unless I am 100% happy with it. I don’t like half-assing anything. As Rowan is getting bigger, needing more and more attention and a very close watchful eye, I find that I don’t have the time to create posts to the high standard that I like. I see bloggers who I love, love, love creating such amazing content and realize I don’t have the time to create posts like that anymore. Sometimes sure, but on a daily basis no. That is hard for me to swallow. It is not a jealousy thing or a competition thing, it is a personal realization over my own time and blog. It’s a weird cycle. I have so many ideas, but because I don’t have the time to do them the way I want, I lose all motivation to do it at all. I know my blog posts have been few and far between lately and this is why. If I can’t do it right, it makes me not want to do it at all. I don’t have time to take outfit photos with Rowan running around everywhere. She gets into everything and I don’t have nanny’s or babysitters to help, so there are no elaborate craft projects laid out all over my living room. What I do have time for most days are posting pictures of what we do day to day. It’s easy. It takes little time, but I am plagued wondering if readers will get bored of that? I know this is a stage and it will pass. Soon enough Rowan will be able to entertain herself more, will listen to direction better and maybe, just maybe I will be able to leave my sewing machine out without finding the thread unraveled all over the floor. For now though, things like that aren’t possible. In all honesty I have thought about giving up blogging more in the last 4 months than I have in the past 4 years.
I struggle to find the balance between real life with Rowan and having time to create something I am truly happy with for my blog. When I think of my blog I have such high goals for it, but slowly I am wondering if those goals are holding my back from really making it something special. I want it to be a casual place, a place that is fun, light hearted and truthful. I want it to be more.
I am just not sure what more is yet?
I don’t have any answers yet for this rambling post, just thought maybe if I got it off my chest I could move on, move forward. Whatever the answer is, my first and most importabt priority is always Kev and Rowan. They will aways be more important to me than this blog. I am curious though, how do you deal with losing motivation? How do you handle the time management of blogging/and/or life? I know most of us work full time, are stay at home moms or even both. I would love to hear how you handle finding time for it all…
p.s. these pictures don’t really have to do with anything. Just liked looking back over a teeny tiny (well she was never that tiny) Rowan.