Well it’s been one week. It’s 4:08am right now (haha I started writing this Sunday Morning) and a week ago exactly I was up pacing our apartment listening to Frank Sinatra trying to get thru contractions and wrap my mind around the fact this baby was coming. In one week I feel like I am a completely new person. Looking back to that moment and where we’ve already come is crazy. This has been the hardest most challenging yet most rewarding week of my life. Labor almost seems like the easy part after you bring home your first baby. It is very, very hard but the amount of love that we have for Rowan is so great it engulfs our whole being. Rowan is the biggest blessing and even though it’s been tough we can not imagine our lives with out her now. We have a whole heck of a lot to learn but Kev and I are doing it together as one super hero team. Kev has been the most supportive husband and for that I am completely grateful. I would have had way more break downs this week if he had not been so strong and encouraging. I love him more now than ever and seeing him and Rowan cuddled together makes my life complete.
I would like to share more about all this stuff but for now here are a few lists about this week…
1. Hearing Kevs reaction as Rowan came out and then the moment when she was placed on my chest
2. Watching Kev and her together
3. Changing lyrics to songs to make them about Rowan & singing them to her while feeding
4. The little noises she makes.
5. The heart warming feeling you feel as she sleeps soundly cuddled on your chest.
Favorite items of the last week:
1. Disposable knit undies from the hospital
2. Tucks & Motrin
3. Boppy pillow
4. Baby Brain iPhone app
5. My new super soft robe
Things I have had break downs over (yep most are over nothing and I mean like really sobbing over haha):
1. Kev asking if I had brushed my teeth yet one day
2. Opening a tiny beautiful necklace for Rowan from my Nana
3. A comment acusing me of not sharing Rowans name to drive traffic to my blog. (I am sorry but no one knew her name not even my mom)
5. Going to the bathroom (it’s very uncomfortable)
6. Everything. Its hard being a hormonal, sleep deprived momma
Things that have surpirsed me:
1. How hard the recovery from yourself is. I never even thought about having to take care of myself on top of baby.
2. How hard breastfeeding is.
3. The amount of love you instantly feel towards this new little person
4. How scared you are about everything. I am constantly wondering if I am doing things right. Its scary- you pop out a baby and then you are own your own to figure it all out. Its a little overwhelming at times.
5. How much closer it has brought Kev and I.